Mandi's Special Request Which I Don't Know How To Name
by SpazzyLassy105
Summary: Mandi is writing a book. I told her I'd write a Fan fiction on it. Viola. Rated T because of mentions of an AK.


**A/N: Hey Mandyyyyy! So…this is a request from my fiend Mandy (no, my friend Chuck) for her book that she is writing. I have no idea what it's called, but…it's interesting. And funny. And AMAZINGLY WRITTEN! So, since this is a sporadic thing, it's going to be short and cracky. Hope you enjoy! **

Chris whistled merrily as he strolled down the street. Lily strode beside him, and Jack kind of slouched his way along. Why was Chris in such a jolly mood, you ask? A nearby passing man backed away quickly as terror slapped him across the face with a graphite pencil. "I-I-I-I didn't ask…" he muttered, eyes wide. Chris turned to the nameless man-who we shall call Bob- and smiled at him evilly. "You did ask, didn't you Bob? Of course you did. Now narrate." Other faceless passerbyers-who we shall call faceless passerbyers- gave him pitying looks but did not try to interfere. Jack rolled his eyes, "Really, Chris? This is the fourth narrator this week. It's _Monday._" The new narrator whimpered in fear.

"Just do it, Jack." Chris glared. Jack gave a put-upon sight but did as he was told, bounding Bob's neck and wrists together in shackles, "oh, woeful traveler," he spoke monotonously, "we hereby beseech you as thy master's narrator. You shall record in a cursed diary the woeful events of his majesty's life with a feather quill soaked in the fallen enemy's throat mucus. You shall forever live in despair. You shall fade from existence. You shall be the master's. All right, that's it. Take the diary and the pen and just write."

Chris smiled happily and continued to whistle along. Jack hung back and watched as Bob wrote what Chris was doing shakily, glancing at Lily through the corner of his eye. The young girl was watching Chris sadly as he stopped to petrify a nearby child. She sighed, turning to face Jack, "He's been so different sine we came out of the Dark Realm. I think one of the demons split themselves into _him._" Jack sucked in a quick breath. Why oh _why_ hadn't he thought of that? He lost himself in thought as Lily kept rambling. They should get Chris's parents to give him two drops of that potion…but how to keep Chris contained. It had been painful when the demon ad been wrenched out of his own soul. _Extremely _painful. He tuned back into Lily just in time to hear her say,

"He would have made a fine Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Such fair hair is rare for a mare's heir like him." Jack blinked. "Ummm…what?" Lily rolled her eyes, "Honestly, haven't you been listening? I said: When Chris came out of the Dark Realm I could feel the Gilly Monsters on him. Obviously, I had to smack him across his left cheek three times with a polyester/styrophome mix. It cures the Gilly Monsters, you know. Truly remarkable. Anyway, once that happened I dumped some peas on his face to chase the pneoumia away. Terribly frightening hot cold, that is. Once that happened, his hair turned .0027329224384275 shades lighter, while his eyebrows stayed the same. Shame, but really, what did you expect? So he _would _ have made a fine Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Such fair hair is rare for a mair's heir like him."

Jack stared at her while she peered at him expectantly. "Sooo,"she said, "you do think I'm right…don't you?" The way she said 'don't you' made Jack want to shrivel up and _die._ He backed away from her, wide eyed, and replied with a shaky, "ummm….y-yeah…totally. You're totally right. I can't believe I didn't see it until now!" she smiled sweetly at him, and _then_ Jack noticed the A-K47 that had been placed at his temple.

Oh. Well, it was a good thing that he'd agreed.

**A/N: I took a LOT of liberties here. Ok, so I don't know if the demons actually split themselves into your soul or just your body. It just sounded more painful. I have no idea how to spell Krumple-Horned Snorkacks correctly, and I do not own that, by the way. Second, Gilly Monsters come from Gilly Weed, which I also do not own. Both of those came from Harry Potter. I don't know if I spelled pneoumia, polyester, and styrophome correctly because spellcheck has no suggestions. There are probably others, so just know that I don't own anything. 'Kay? 'Kay. Hi, Mandy! Hope you liked it. **


End file.
